I have opinions. Like it or not.

Posts tagged ‘ze bee’

Chicken

Since The B is too chicken to do this tag and display it on his blog, I decided to put it up on mine.

1. How do you feel after a one night stand?

Depends on whether I manage to make it a series or not!

2. Do you ever get used to wearing a thong?

Never tried one. Thongs are only for the other two genders – females and San Franciscos.

3. Does it hurt?

You should ask this to the person who sent these questions to me. She’s lying when she says she doesn’t know – was probably too excited to figure out the answer then!

4. Do you know when you are acting crazy?

Yup. All the fuckin time.

5. Does size really matter?

Depends on which part of the anatomy you are talking about! Boobs <censored> – heck ya! Pussy <censored>- heck ya, but in reverse logic!

6. When the bill comes, are you still a feminist?

I do not subscribe to any pre-defined categories. Depends on whether I think I am going to get any that night or no!

7. Why do you take so long to get ready?

I honestly don’t know. I am, however, hopeful that I can slash it to a minute and a half from the present two.

8. Do you watch porn, too?

Why do you feel so insecure? Everyone does!!

9. Will something from Tiffany’s solve everything?

Again, too vague. Depends on who the girl is.

10. Are guys as big of a mystery to girls as they are to us?

Nope, we aren’t. When we say “Fetch me a beer”, we mean, get me a beer. We do not mean that we intend to quit drinking. When we say, “Lets do it, honey”, we do mean let us do it! We do not ask you to respond with unrelated topics such as headaches! And when we say “I love you”, we do mean that we love you! At that moment. Lack of logical ability is not our fault.

11. Why do you sometimes think you look fat?

I don’t! I am proud of my beer belly!!

12. Why are you always late?

Simply because there isn’t any utility in arriving early. Proving that the probability of arriving exactly on time is zero is trivial.

13. Does it bother you when we scratch?

You scratch??

14. Do you wish you could pee standing up?

What do you mean wish? We’ve been doing it that way for the past few millenia!! And so were you till you suddenly short-circuited!

15. Why do so many women cut their hair short as soon as they get married?

Because we convince them to! And it is not always after marriage. (Don’t ask how we manage it!) Bloody hair getting into the nose is always a problem!!

16. How often do you think about sex?

Once in a lifetime, give or take a few. It usually lasts the whole lifetime.

17. What do you think of women who sleep with guys on the first date?

Worthy of second dates!

18. Would you?

I don’t date guys. If you meant women, you really need to stop asking redundant questions!

19. Do you realize every guy wants a girl just like his mom?

Why would I care about what the other guys want in their girls so long as they aren’t eyeing mine?

20. Why does every woman think she can change him?

Neat trick, eh?

21. Does it matter what car I drive?

Nope. You are still going to cause that pile-up!

22. Do you ever fart?

Me? Fart? Nope!! Hey…. did you just fart??

Sorry about the repetitive posting, but this just had to be put up!!! 😛

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