I have opinions. Like it or not.

Posts tagged ‘rants’


Why do people (rather, these amit123 types) not know the difference between the usage of ‘will’ and ‘would’?


My Bloody Valentine(‘s day post)

As the day draws to an end, I make this post more than 24 hours after G asked me to. I know this technically does not count as a Valentine’s day post hence, and therefore keeps with my tradition of de-recognizing a day created and glorified by companies that need a reason to keep their bottom line up. [Ha! Got myself another link! Go PageRank!]

Now the question arises why I must diss this day. I am known for such anti-social tendencies. A lot. Parents tend to tell their children to disregard what I say when I talk about religion. Hey, I’m the guy who’s probably going to tell the kid Santa exists, but God doesn’t make a whole lot of scientific sense. What can I say? I’m just that guy.

Enough about me though. We should make this about G. And the fact that over the past year, Uber-T, Sailesh and I have managed to get this right up there on the search page for ‘Galadriel Porn‘ (right above the NSFW pics of Frodo doing Arwen – even if that seems a little logistically impossible. Consider the relative sizes, for a start). But G is not just about the porn related posts. She should really have a tag for them (edited, G has given into “popular” demand). Would help in the search terms as well as my linking them here. Which would further boost their ranking, I hope.. making this an awesome post for G’s search rankings with respect to porn. Score.

More about G. Good question. There are way too many things to put down here. Ok, that answer tends to irritate her.. and I really don’t want to irritate too much. This post is probably going to be right up there on her most-hated of all time. She’s made me an ‘author’ on this site.. which means I could log in anytime and do what I wish, when I wish. Scary. But this still does not make it about G. How many ways can I describe her? Let me count the ways.

  1. As a hottie.
  2. As a nottie.
  3. As a hottie and a nottie (Stop thinking about the Paris Hilton movie, screwballs edited by a screaming G, “no dirty words on my blog!”)

Ok, this is getting way too long. And boring. Really don’t want to get boring. She’ll never let me hear the last of it. Back to G. G is one of a kind. Amazing person. Very naive for letting me write what I want. Very classy for not deleting it (yet). Very smart for coming up with ways and means to screw with me without actually screwing with me. Very sweet for giving me an award. Very sporty for accepting my accepting the award (Link! Score!) Very cool.. for.. being a girl with a porn blog (Porn Search! Score!) Very literary for her ‘about me’. I’m guessing also very irritated for my random BS-ing in the name of a Valentine’s Day post.

To tell the truth, I really wanted to write a post about why I hate V-Day so much. However, its ground I’ve covered before.. and my ranting on someone else’s blog might get a little grating for her more regular readers. I wonder how many she’ll lose as a result of this post. That would not bode well for me at all. At all.

And on that note, I sign off. Until next time.. when I manage to get over the damage I’ve done with this post.

p.s. One question. Why does ‘ing’ show up as a spelling mistake on the WordPress spellcheck?


Dear pretending-to-be-busy guy

sitting across from my cubicle.. Please, answer me this: Do you think you are the only one with teleconferences to attend? More specifically, do you think tolerating your 4-digit decibel levels is part of my job description? If you want to have “technical discussions” in vernacular languages with your team buddies, why not set up a meeting in one of the many conference rooms? And if you’re in a teleconference how about talking “into” the phone? Without letting everyone know that attending meetings is the only thing you really do all day?

Edited to add: I took this quiz after a 3 hour meeting, because, well I was bored out of my skull. And I am Happeeeee. 😀

Which Friends Character Are You?

You are Chandler. You’re funny and that’s why people like to have you around. You’re also a great friend, and when someone you care about is in trouble, they know to come to you for some level-headed advice followed by some sharp sarcasm.
Find Your Character @ BrainFall.com


Think things are easy in America? Think again.

So, you guys know I’ve moved. Well, I figured since I’m going to be here I should get my driver’s license transferred. I do all kinds of research, figure out all the documents I need, wake up bright and early and decide to set aside 2 hours from my work day to finish this off. I even put in 2 hours extra yesterday to make up for today. I get out of the house and it’s raining. Cats and dogs. Should have been my first sign.

I drive towards downtown in crazy ass traffic, visibility restricted to the tip of the rear bumper of the car in front of me, weaving in and out of the winding lanes and bridges and when I reach downtown, the stupid GPS declares that it has lost “satellite reception” because of all the high rise buildings. So I wake up a groggy and disoriented SEV and yell at him to get his ass on the computer and guide me to the DL center. Half the roads are blocked by construction, every time I want to take a right turn I see this sign.


I bet my eyes have this instead of the iris/cornea kinda like that Tom and Jerry cartoon. Hmph.

Anyway so here I am struggling to find the place, guided by someone on the phone, losing my temper rapidly when I finally find the damn office. Only to realize that there is no parking. And so begins the quest for Parking in the one-way streets in the heart of the city. I finally find one shady place that charges 10 bucks an HOUR, the bloody ripoffs!

And so I walk into the center hoping that it wouldn’t take me too long. I wait in line for 45 minutes and finally when it is my turn, the doddering old man (who can barely see, hear, talk or type and takes enormous amounts of time to resolve each query) looks at my documents and tells me ‘No can’t do’. I’m  like ‘Excuse me?’

DOM: You’re on F1. And your I-20 is only dated until Sept 2009.

Me: Yeah, so? I’m on EAD. (whipping out my EAD card)

DOM: Yeah this one’s valid until October 2009. And you don’t have an H1. I can’t issue a product for less than a year.

Me: (blinking like Dexter when he confronts DeeDee) So you’re saying that I can’t drive here? But my out of state license expires in June. And my H1 won’t come in until October, if I am approved, that is.

DOM: Yeah, but there’s nothing we can do. You need to show me valid status for at least a year. Sorry miss. If you can establish legal residency in the other state maybe they can help you out.

Me: (stumped and at a loss for words) Thank you.

So, as it turns out, since I’m technically only in legal status until October (that is, until my H1 comes through, hoping, praying that it does) and since my license expires in June, I cannot drive until October 2009. 4 months, dammit!

The other option of course is to apply for renewal of my original license, but that means I’ll have to change my bank accounts to my old address , change my insurance to my old address (and pay through my nose) and hope and pray that the other DMV doesn’t act this dumb and issues a renewal at least until the time I have legal status, which is October. Otherwise I sell my car. Gahhhhhhh.

Someone please

… tell Raja Sen to go hang himself.

He wants to live up to his reputation of being a bad-ass reviewer? Fine, he can be the biggest asshole on the planet for all I care. What irks me is his mindless bashing of everything he can think of in a movie. For ex., he reviewed Yuvvraaj. Granted, the movie BIT. I won’t even get into reviewing the movie because it will only give me a headache and I don’t do movie reviews on my blog (check this link if you want a snippet of my opinion). But he could have stayed away from criticizing the music, of which I believe he knows close to nothing. I’m not saying Yuvvraj’s music was an example of Rahman’s genius by any means. On the contrary, it was a far cry from a lot his great work. But it wasn’t as bad as Mr. Sen describes it to be. Just because he wanted to lash out at Subhash Ghai (who I think he was being nice to, if it were me I would have inserted a set of expletives that would make Ghai’s ears explode) he did not have to go below the belt and extend his hatred of the movie to its music as well. And now he’s doing the same thing to Ghajini. I don’t have any expectations from the movie either, especially since I have seen the Tamil version and the director being the same guy, I know he’s going to spew the same dim witted nonsense that was the Tamil movie. Although, I must admit that Raja Sen hasn’t begun the omnidirectional bad mouthing of the movie, and in the wake of the music of Slumdog Millionaire, what with Rahman winning/being nominated for international awards and everything, I bet he knows he can’t go about shooting his mouth off about the music of the movie. And honestly, on direct comparison, I am going to have to say that Yuvvraaj’s music was better than Ghajini’s. And yet, Ghajini’s music gets a good review from the Sen man? Does he really think we are suckers? Or does he already know no one really cares about reading his reviews anyway?

Btw, Asin is 23??!!! Man, I thought she’s older than me. I hate growing old. 😦

God Bless

… whoever came up with coffee. It’s the ONLY thing that takes me through the day.



I usually consider myself a reasonably fair person who does not indulge in any kind of typecasting. However, I have noticed myself and from what my friends tell me, it is commonplace to observe Indian people behaving unprofessionally at work. And before you slice my neck, I do not mean to say that all Indians are unprofessional or even that there are no unprofessional Americans/Europeans/*insert your choice of ethnic background here* but the few examples of bad work ethic that I have heard of and seen have been pretty nasty.

I shall begin with an example of my friend who works for a big financial company. She has a friend/colleague who works for a different team, and all her (colleague’s) team members are Indians. And they have developed this nasty reputation of behaving very inappropriately at work. Abusing the office phones provided to them, the ability to access gtalk at work, downloading music at work and so on. Consequently, they have been assigned some very minor tasks and in the event of a potential layoff, they will probably be targeted first. Said colleague/friend even shows up for work in the winter in sleeveless tops and then complains that the office is too cold, but we digress.

My workplace is no different. The team that I work in does not have any Indians, which works out both well and not-so-well for me. But my office is also densely populated (quite like our homeland) with Indian people from a certain south Indian heritage which I refuse to name and which most workplaces are swarming with. These people sit right across from where I sit and are truly the most boisterous merrymakers I have seen in a while. And I went to grad school in New Jersey. I know we are a truly brilliant lot and doing the work assigned to us takes us no time at all so we have all this time on our hands to while away, but does it have to be this OBVIOUS? Look at me; I use my free time with such prudence. I blog.

One of the team members of said gregarious team was also extremely annoying. And this whole incident makes me quite proud, TYVM. I sit in a very high frequency zone with people passing by every few minutes and half of my working time is spent in exchanging pleasantries. Accordingly, said gregarious team member (referred to as GTM from now on, the G having even more significance because he is of aforementioned south Indian heritage) would also pass by my cubicle every so often. Now, owing my naturally pleasing personality, he took an immediate liking to me, and chose to express this affinity for me by tapping my head every time he passed me by. [And anyone who knows me, knows that even though I am normally an absolute doll (don’t you DARE disagree), the term “wild cat” has been used in reference to me on occasion (read more than often), and not without reason.] So when I am irked, you had better know it and be scared. Be very very scared. So the next time GTM passed me by, I gave him one of my cold stares and made a “tsk-tsk” noise. And then I told him that I’m going to move from this cubicle because people passing me by have started annoying me. Now GTM is a smart man, he knows when to take hints. He hasn’t made eye contact with me ever since. I am happy. And I actually have put in an application to be moved.

Also, what is with not speaking in English??!! I know your team is full of people who speak the same language and so you can communicate in any language you choose, but at least at work, when you are talking about work related stuff, can we please use the language the documentation is written in? I mean, you’re inserting all the technical terms in English anyway, so how about joining those terms using verbs, prepositions, conjunctions and so on in English as well?

That being said, I do have a couple of untoward incidents of workplace unprofessionalism (I know that’s not a word, Firefox is making a red line underneath it) concerning American people to relate as well, so I am not only limiting this to Indian folks. I just wish people began treating their jobs with respect (except you Lost On The Street, you’re allowed to diss at your job as much as you want, I like you. 😀 ).


Big Bang Baby!

Alright, alright. After a considerable hiatus, I’m back at last. Well, in my defense, I have been caught up in a variety of things ranging from frustration/depression due to unemployment (don’t believe me? Ask DDD and Rayshma, they’ve been at the receiving end of my gamut of negative emotions) to enjoying this amazing good-for-nothing feeling. Also, big big BIG (alright before you get any ideas) writer’s block. I can’t figure out what I want to write about. Everything I wanna say seems to be turning into this humongous rant that I don’t feel like putting it to black and white. But then that’s exactly what I’m doing now, because if I don’t I’ll lose even the 7-member readership I currently enjoy.

Btw, to all you people who were in the same city/state as the hurricane/bomb blasts, I hope all of you are ok and you suffered minimal or negligible losses. And I hope none of you staged the bl**ts coz if you did you’re bad bad people and your pictures are out and we’re right on your heels baby (of course by we I don’t mean me and my immediate peers, I just mean the general good, anti-evil side).

So we attended this show organized by the Indian Students’ Association. And, no offense, the only part I enjoyed was when I jumped the line to exercise my highly useful ex-committee member status to nick bhel-puri and aloo papdi chaat. The masala chai during our tenure was better, in case the current committee is listening. Ohh and does anyone know how to sue your juniors for plagiarizing the Mahabharat spoof word-for-word from your time?

While we’re on that subject, what is with the pseudo ooh-I’m-so-american act of showing up in jeans and a t-shirt/spaghetti for a show by the ISA? Isn’t it like an unsaid dress code to dress like you have some remote association with your home country? It’s not like we’re asking you to get bedecked in bridal finery, even a damn kurti would do just fine. Or are we all just morons who wear Indian clothes to Indian events while clearly comfort casual western wear is the order of the day. Why didn’t we think of that before???

You know what I hate about the chat-sms (ooh, text-message, I’m American. NOT.) age? It’s this whole unwarranted shortening of the English language. Of course, why would you type two whole extra letters when you can do with typing just ‘u’? It makes the same sound doesn’t it? Saves you a LOAD of work. And what is WITH people saying bubye? Is that someone with a bubble for an eye? Ok, really really bad joke, bt u gt wt m sayng dnt u? (Did I get that right? Was there one consonant too many in that skillful saving of text characters? Is that gonna cost me 10ps more now? Damn.)

And that reminds me, what is with people messaging you on gtalk and then saying brb? I mean, if you’re going to ‘be right back’ why say hi in the first place? Why don’t you just slide over the hi and just get to the brb? That way I’ll certainly notice you, but I won’t bug you with asking mundane questions and exchanging customary greetings while you’re being ‘right back’. But you’re there. You’re just too busy to continue a conversation you started. QED.

Have you heard Hariharan perform stage shows? Ze Bee showed me this video of what rape really is.(Yep, you got it right, I only recently realized that you can embed youtube videos instead of linking them up, so I’m on a roll!) Of course, one shouldn’t just blame Hariharan, Mr. Mahadevan is equally guilty of abetting the main perpetrator. But SM usually doesn’t sing in his stage shows, he does get away with lip syncing and he usually ends up giving a reasonably good performance by the sheer virtue of NOT singing. It is egotistical (egoistical? I can never tell) musicians like Hariharan Saar who take it upon themselves to conduct seminar series on ‘How to murder original compositions and alienate your fans’ in the form of stage shows who give lousy performances.

And, of course, I forgot about the people who claim to love blogging passionately and don’t update blogs for weeks together. I would like to sincerely apologize on behalf of all these irresponsible peoples. I will talk to them and make sure this doesn’t happen again. You have my word. I promise.

Untl d nxt pst,

Bubye, tc, gn, nm, ttul, and whatever other ridiculous combination of letters you can think of,