I have opinions. Like it or not.

Posts tagged ‘porn’

Assorted Mashup

Alright. It’s been a while. And I’m bored. And I miss all the porn.

What’s been happening? A bunch of things, one of which was this conversation with her royal cattiness.

Reshma: i dared to watch a promo video of love aaj kal today
i don’t think i’ll dare to see the movie
they look like bhai behen
me:    i read “i dared to watch a porno video of love aaj kal today”

Explains why I was itching to get back to blogging, according to her anyway.

Work, of course, goes on. The less said about it the better.

Murphy strikes again. This last weekend I decided that my car was very dirty and needed a wash. So I took it to the car wash, spent 10 bucks on a “premium” wash package. And guess what happens? It rains all week! And not any rains, but thundershowers. Torrential too. Gah.

I’ve decided to make it official. I’m actually engaged. Yeah, I went to India and had a whole ceremony and blah blah blah. I tell you, not the tiniest thing has changed. I’m not treated any special, I do not feel shy when people ask me about ‘the groom‘. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. And no, we don’t have a date for the wedding yet, so do NOT bug me. No, I’m not PMSing, this is my natural sunny disposition. Go figure.

Funnily enough, a lot of people who I thought would be happy for me and would congratulate me did not even send me a customary email. Not even a wall post on FB. I wonder what’s up.

Rakhi Ka Swayamvar is THE BEST SHOW ON THE PLANET. And it’s been playing with my fillings. Sorry, emotions. Boohoo!!

Well, that’s about all I have the patience for. See you soon amigos!!

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What’s the happy-hap?

Yeah I know. I should have at least explained my absence to my readers (regular and porn 😉 ). But every time I thought about writing, all I could do was whine and rant about my frustrations at work, which is what has kept me this busy doing 60 hour work weeks. But since I plan to disappear more often and for longer, I figured I’d at least pop in and give you a proper ‘We’ll be right back!’ so that you don’t spend all your time racking your brains trying to solve the amazing whodunit that is my vanishing act.

So, what have I been upto? Let’s see.

  • Work, as I mentioned earlier, is more about dealing with incompetence than about actual productive task-finishing.
  • Awaiting my mother’s arrival, which is actually still a good 6 weeks away. Can’t believe time is passing by this slowly. 😦
  • I have started learning how to knit and I can proudly say that I’m getting started on my very first creation, which is going to be a scarf. I think.

 

  • I have tried to make fresh fruits and vegetables a part of my daily diet. So far I’m managing to eat baby carrots, red radishes and cucumbers about 3 times a week, which is a marked improvement from daily doses of garden burgers.
  • Anyone know the schedule for this year’s Cleveland Thyagarajar Utsavam? Is U Srinivas playing? Will you take me with you if you’re going? Pretty please?
  • I have started listening to the Suprabhatam, which fits perfectly into my 20 minute drive to work every day. Amazingly enough, I find myself swearing a lot less at reckless and inconsiderate drivers, my concentration has improved drastically, and I don’t arrive at work stressed and angry from the traffic as I used to. So say what you want but I think listening to MS Subbulaksmi chanting the Lord’s name has proven its usefulness beyond my expectations.
  • That brings me to my biggest mental turmoil yet. I watched Richard Dawkins’ series on religion and religious intolerance. Please watch, it’s called The Root of All Evil. It puts into word every single rational thought you have ever had about religion and creationism and how bogus it actually is. And yet I go to the temple. Why? Does that make me a hypocrite? If you ask me right now to tell you if I believe in God, I have no answer for you. My mind is torn between the rational and the unknown. I go to the temple to pray for something because there have been times when I have tried absolutely everything in my power, I have done nothing wrong and yet things have gone horribly wrong. And to prevent that from happening in the future, I am trying to keep the faith that if there is something that is indeed beyond my control, this Entity that I am praying to will favor me. I do not know. I cannot rationalize. I just take peace in the fact that my faith, my belief does not need me to murder other individuals. That I would never imagine hurting another person, physically or emotionally because of my faith. I suppose that should suffice for now. Until I find the answer I seek.
  • Which, BTW is not 42. It’s actually 45 as we discovered on our trip to Lake Erie.

45-1

Ok, peepz. Thassit for now. I will have more apologetic posts (and emails if I like you) in the (I don’t want to say near) future because, let’s face it, when have we ever learned from our mistakes? Muah!

My Bloody Valentine(‘s day post)

As the day draws to an end, I make this post more than 24 hours after G asked me to. I know this technically does not count as a Valentine’s day post hence, and therefore keeps with my tradition of de-recognizing a day created and glorified by companies that need a reason to keep their bottom line up. [Ha! Got myself another link! Go PageRank!]

Now the question arises why I must diss this day. I am known for such anti-social tendencies. A lot. Parents tend to tell their children to disregard what I say when I talk about religion. Hey, I’m the guy who’s probably going to tell the kid Santa exists, but God doesn’t make a whole lot of scientific sense. What can I say? I’m just that guy.

Enough about me though. We should make this about G. And the fact that over the past year, Uber-T, Sailesh and I have managed to get this right up there on the search page for ‘Galadriel Porn‘ (right above the NSFW pics of Frodo doing Arwen – even if that seems a little logistically impossible. Consider the relative sizes, for a start). But G is not just about the porn related posts. She should really have a tag for them (edited, G has given into “popular” demand). Would help in the search terms as well as my linking them here. Which would further boost their ranking, I hope.. making this an awesome post for G’s search rankings with respect to porn. Score.

More about G. Good question. There are way too many things to put down here. Ok, that answer tends to irritate her.. and I really don’t want to irritate too much. This post is probably going to be right up there on her most-hated of all time. She’s made me an ‘author’ on this site.. which means I could log in anytime and do what I wish, when I wish. Scary. But this still does not make it about G. How many ways can I describe her? Let me count the ways.

  1. As a hottie.
  2. As a nottie.
  3. As a hottie and a nottie (Stop thinking about the Paris Hilton movie, screwballs edited by a screaming G, “no dirty words on my blog!”)

Ok, this is getting way too long. And boring. Really don’t want to get boring. She’ll never let me hear the last of it. Back to G. G is one of a kind. Amazing person. Very naive for letting me write what I want. Very classy for not deleting it (yet). Very smart for coming up with ways and means to screw with me without actually screwing with me. Very sweet for giving me an award. Very sporty for accepting my accepting the award (Link! Score!) Very cool.. for.. being a girl with a porn blog (Porn Search! Score!) Very literary for her ‘about me’. I’m guessing also very irritated for my random BS-ing in the name of a Valentine’s Day post.

To tell the truth, I really wanted to write a post about why I hate V-Day so much. However, its ground I’ve covered before.. and my ranting on someone else’s blog might get a little grating for her more regular readers. I wonder how many she’ll lose as a result of this post. That would not bode well for me at all. At all.

And on that note, I sign off. Until next time.. when I manage to get over the damage I’ve done with this post.

p.s. One question. Why does ‘ing’ show up as a spelling mistake on the WordPress spellcheck?

SEV

By popular demand

Alright folks. Due to the ahem.. controversial nature of the previous post, we have decided to comply with the demands of our readership and do a follow-up to the ever-interesting topic of ‘galadriel porn’. So here is the awe-inspiring gtalk conversation with a dear friend who is a fan of all things.. porny (i know that’s not a word but it is now). And that includes the one thing connecting this blog to the Indian erotic phenomenon.. Sav Bhabhi!

For a bit of background I got a Swedish massage this weekend. And no, the masseuse wasn’t Swedish. And yes, she was hot. And yes, she was blonde. And she complimented me saying I had soft skin. No, Ravan, nothing else happened.

Anyway, onward.

Friend:me: how is savitabhabhi?

me: i didn’t get that message

Friend: i know

🙂

so..?

me: ermm

i have an idea for savitabhabhi

Friend: like?

me: i got inspired when i told my friend about my massage

savita bhabhi goes for a swedish massage

😀

and then shacks up with the masseur/masseuse

Friend: but manoj has already given her an awesome massage

me: oh no!

Friend: we’ll work on it

what about savitabhabhi seduces a PhD student?

😀

paid by an infosec guy from Mumbai who cannot get enough of her boobs?

😀

me: hahahahaha!!!!

Friend: and the PhD student’s girlfriend is outraged!

😀

but she forgives the student because it was savitabhabhi – the role model for today’s youth

me: HAHAHAHAHAHA

you should submit your story idea

Friend: you should post about this!

😀

the galadriel porn blog – happening, well within the realms of decency

There you are people. Writers at Savita Bhabhi, are you listening? You should pay us royalty if you do flick this idea.

I am Outraged

What can I say? Looks like SEV’s usage of certain.. ahem.. adjectives stands justified after all. Hmph.

P.S. For the uninitiated, these are my blog statistics and the key phrases people used to search which led them to my blog. The highlighted phrase ‘galadriel porn’ is one of them. Okay? Okay.

stats

(nlogn) solution to TSP

The traveling salesman problem has finally been solved!!

P.S.: A porn-related post and I haven’t named either Sailesh or UberT? Hawhawhaw.

LOL!

I have a friend who works on medical imaging. Excerpts from a conversation he was having with his friend:

S: biomedical imaging
G: hmmm
G: wtf
G: u mean porn?

Made my day, it did.

—————————————————————————————–

In other news, I have finally discovered a solution to my roommate’s insomnia problem.