I have opinions. Like it or not.

Posts tagged ‘love’

Lots to say..

Yes, we are back. Can’t promise the original frequency of posting though, but we will surely try. I know, I know, you’re all burning with questions (all 8 of you) and I hope to answer all of them here.

I got married y’all! Yeah, with all the fanfare and the traditional rituals. SEV wonderfully expressed his thoughts at the time here. I haven’t been able to articulate everything I was feeling in such beautiful words. The one feeling I know I will never forget was that when the tirumangalyam was being tied around my neck. Everything I had been hoping for, planning for, culminated in that one moment. Memories of our times together were flashing past me intermingled with visions of our future together. The atmosphere at the wedding hall was electric. And as hard as I tried I couldn’t turn around catch the expression on my mother’s face (the videographer captured it perfectly though). Some day I think I will understand everything she was feeling that day.

The 2 weeks that we were in India post-wedding saw us both battling the flu. Of course that didn’t stop us from visiting our relatives or visiting the temples my mother-in-law had planned on taking us to. The feeling of being in a new home and adapting to the ways of a whole new family can be a little daunting at the start. However, the fact that I knew my in-laws very well even before the wedding (advantages of a love marriage you see!) made the transition really easy. I just wish I had a little more time to learn everything from my MiL!

And I finally made the decision to move to live with my husband – I knew I couldn’t make a relationship work with distance added into the picture. Many conversations with SEV, my parents, my in-laws and my friends (who were all very supportive, bless them) resulted in us making the decision to move. So we had a month to pack, dispose of stuff and move. We had arranged for movers and that made the whole experience completely hassle-free. I totally recommend my moving company to anyone moving across states – they were very professional and very thorough.

I must say, the experience of setting up a new home together is completely unmatched. Just watching everything fall into place like it always belonged there is almost magical. I was always told that knowing someone very well and living with them are completely different things. So I went in expecting the worst. But I have to say, I know SEV in and out and he’s an absolute delight to live with! His roommates were indeed lucky. 🙂

That’s it for now. Ohh and I have some other super exciting news to share as well! But I will let my partners in crime do the honors for that one. See you around!

Facebook Fail

I hope this gets on Failbook.

P.S: I got married.

Interestingly…

I have not seen the sun in 2 weeks now. In case anyone’s keeping count, gloomy dreary winter days are another thing I officially hate.

I think I’m growing up. I went to a Diwali show here, fearing seeing the one person I have so successfully managed to avoid seeing or thinking about for more than a year. I saw them. And I did not feel or think what I feared. In fact, I felt really confident about going up and talking to them. I would have too, had they not disappeared completely after the show – and had there not been like 2000 people there!

I miss performing on stage. I wish I had some way of knowing that my last performance in school was going to be my last one.

This Diwali had to be the worst one in years. I spent it all alone, battling an unbearable headache, and working through the day. Oh and I ate pizza coz I was too sick to cook something nice.

BTW, do you guys have any suggestions (other than painkillers, which is what I had to ultimately resort to) to get rid of headaches? I tried everything – massages, cold compress, tea, coffee, hot shower – to no avail. Then I took my trusted ibuprofen/paracetamol and took a nap. When I woke up my headache was gone. But I hated having to take a painkiller for a simple headache.

The countdown has begun.

Picture Perfect.. Really?

Words spoken. Words written. Words read and understood. Words that affect one in a way that nothing ever has. They make one wonder, they take one on imaginary trips to a time, a place of fantasy. Of peace and love. Of harmony. Of a time when one didn’t exist.

At least not to them. They were two hearts, two souls in love. For now and for eternity. They bore each other’s pain, each other’s sorrow. They unburdened their tribulations on one another. They hurt each other. They fought. But they made up. And were more deeply in love than ever. They were perfect for each other. He loved everything about her. Her feisty nature, her long curly hair, her short stature, her mood swings, her brilliance, that he found so rare in others of her species. She loved his steadfast reliability, his composition in the face of crisis, his ability to soothe her fears with just a ‘hello’. His unpretentious nature, his courage. They were meant to be. In every way possible.

The universe thought otherwise. They were seperated by a divide. And what they thought was a perfect world was quickly befouled by what society dictated. He was being sucked into a quagmire that he could only break out of if he were ready to forsake everything he held close. His peers advised him to do it. What did they know, they were young and as hot blooded as he. She waited at the banks, watching him suffer, sinking deeper and deeper, helpless, unable to reach out, try as she might. And then she watched him go under. She waited. He had left, never to return.

He loves someone else today, the memory of his beautiful past all but gone. The scars remain, but his present is a lot sunnier. He is happy, he is making progress in all aspects of his life.  She sometimes wonders if she had met him first, how different would things have been. She wonders what it would have been like to be the first woman he kissed.

Somewhere in the depths of one’s soul, something stirs. Something rankles, making one think about what could have been. If today would be a reality if yesterday was altered. If one needs to live life under rules put down by an abstract institution, rules that really are just a product of a few warped imaginations. If fighting for your love is really worth it. Should dreams remain just that – dreams that may never be fulfilled? Why should you be shown something potentially beautiful, only to be snatched away?

Society argues – do not make a choice if you cannot justify it. What kind of choice is society really giving me then, if what I choose will only be overruled? Society says you are too young to understand the implications. How young is too young? And even if they were older and made the same choice society wouldn’t approve, so I sense the tidings of some vintage hypocrisy here. The truth is, you have no choice. You do whatever it takes to keep society happy and you live with it. If you are the type. If you fight for it, you fight for the rest of your lives.

*** My apologies. Comments are disabled on this post. ***

Dating, Living-in, What?

I have mentioned that I am 24, single unmarried (wink wink 😉 ) and loving it. I also have some very close friends, all more or less my age. Most of them are dating, in relationships, blah, blah and blah and this whole social charade gets me thinking…. I have a few relationship questions that need clarification. Maybe someone should publish a manual that has in-depth answers. I wonder if the Hitchhiker’s Guide had them.

Dating: When is an appropriate time to start saying you’re dating? One, two, three dates? And, really, what does qualify as dating? Coffee, dinner, movie, drinks, thrown in with copious amounts of subtle flirting and double entendres hidden in every sentence we speak? Then does that mean that some people I know end up dating even their friends (or people they “claim” are their friends) ? A touch here, a naughty smile there, a peck on the cheek that lingered a moment too long? And how long does it take to actually proceed from “a date” to “dating” ?

Relationship: When does it go from “dating” to “being in a relationship” ? Is there an intermediate phase in between these two? And amongst all this confusion when does the first kiss take place? And how long does it take to move from the kiss to other, more interesting things? Does it mean that whoever you’re getting it on with is the person you’re in a relationship with? And what if you’re with them, have all the benefits of a relationship (well, I can only think of one big benefit, but for peace of mind, let’s add the plural) and yet deny ever being in the relationship/going around/blah-bloo-blah?

Commitment: We’ve all heard this word. And in all probability, more often than not we’ve heard it along with the phrase “not ready”. So when does a relationship transform into a commitment? And does making out have any part to play in this? I for one cannot imagine a guy being committed to a girl because she’s mind-numbingly hot in bed/makes love like a tigress. And I do happen to know women who would sleep with men and then claim to be “not ready for a commitment” leaving the guy gaping. But I also happen to know men who do the exact same thing. So what does commitment mean?

Living together: So do you live together once you’ve “committed” to one another? When you’re in a “relationship”? Please tell me you don’t move in together when you’re dating. Does living together require the relationship to pass the above two stages? Or can it be done in between one of these? So does it also signify that your relationship is definitely moving towards marriage? How much time passes between the living-in and the popping-of-final-question? So when you’re living with someone, you’re all but married right? So then why do people break up even after years of living together? And is it allowed to come back with the “no commitment” drill after you’ve lived with someone?

And, the most puzzling question of all…. Where does “love” fit in the grand scheme of relationship-y things? When is an appropriate time to say the dreaded 3 words? How easy or difficult is it to slide from one intense (emotionally and physically) relationship to another while having said (or at least felt) the L-word?

Maybe we should all go back to our parents’ and grandparents’ generations where life was simple and you didn’t have to think so much. Meet boy, parents say yes, you say yes, get married, sleep with the almost-stranger you just married, have kids, live happily ever after.

Pshaw.

One

One email, one line, one phone call, one sentence, one moment remembered, one kind word, one little gesture, one promise kept, one action executed, one commitment adhered to, one expression of love… Just one.

Things I expect people to do when I need them the most. Things that never happen and end up disappointing me. Things that make me lose faith in the one person I should never lose faith in.

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