I have opinions. Like it or not.

Archive for February, 2009

My Relationship with Murphy

We have a love-hate relationship. He loves me. I hate him. But his love is so powerful and all-consuming, that I succumb to his advances. All the time.

  • The most common way he expresses his love to most people. Make it rain when I don’t have an umbrella/jacket. But he has a special love for me right? So he will make it snow, just when I decide to wear my expensive wollen coat. All the while convincing weather.com to forecast sunny weather.
  • The second I wear sunglasses, the sky goes overcast. Obviously, the converse has to be true. The second I remove my sunglasses, the sun shines down bright on the world again.
  • If you ever see me standing in a queue for anything, please be sure to NOT stand in that queue. My friends will vouch for this, I’m the official queue-slow-down-er. If there are two queues, they would make me stand in one and go stand in the other, because that queue, by virtue of not having me, would move faster. Even if the person at the counter is a doddering old man with crippling arthritis.
  • When I switch lanes so I can go faster, the lane I switch into automatically clogs up and comes to a standstill. Even if it’s the fast lane and cars in it were zipping by a second ago.
  • Every single examination I have ever taken has seen me sick. And not just cough-cold sick, but fever, sinus, the whole nine yards. And no, it wasn’t stress-related. 😀
  • Any tap I stick my hand under has to malfunction. So here I am, with soapy hands trying to get the damn tap to work and, of course the restroom has to be full so all the other taps are in use.

Of course, I can go on and on. But I don’t want to, lest he thinks I like being showered with his love and decides to crank it up!

What’s your relationship with him like?

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Standing Ovation

To A R Rahman. I salute thee!

Ah, the joys of Indian politics

So.. I wonder what would happen if someone leaked pictures of Mayawati? Will the Ram Sene beat her up too?

Imagine Laloo and Pranab snickering over their Blackberrys. Ha!

Also, does this post qualify as ‘porn’?

My Bloody Valentine(‘s day post)

As the day draws to an end, I make this post more than 24 hours after G asked me to. I know this technically does not count as a Valentine’s day post hence, and therefore keeps with my tradition of de-recognizing a day created and glorified by companies that need a reason to keep their bottom line up. [Ha! Got myself another link! Go PageRank!]

Now the question arises why I must diss this day. I am known for such anti-social tendencies. A lot. Parents tend to tell their children to disregard what I say when I talk about religion. Hey, I’m the guy who’s probably going to tell the kid Santa exists, but God doesn’t make a whole lot of scientific sense. What can I say? I’m just that guy.

Enough about me though. We should make this about G. And the fact that over the past year, Uber-T, Sailesh and I have managed to get this right up there on the search page for ‘Galadriel Porn‘ (right above the NSFW pics of Frodo doing Arwen – even if that seems a little logistically impossible. Consider the relative sizes, for a start). But G is not just about the porn related posts. She should really have a tag for them (edited, G has given into “popular” demand). Would help in the search terms as well as my linking them here. Which would further boost their ranking, I hope.. making this an awesome post for G’s search rankings with respect to porn. Score.

More about G. Good question. There are way too many things to put down here. Ok, that answer tends to irritate her.. and I really don’t want to irritate too much. This post is probably going to be right up there on her most-hated of all time. She’s made me an ‘author’ on this site.. which means I could log in anytime and do what I wish, when I wish. Scary. But this still does not make it about G. How many ways can I describe her? Let me count the ways.

  1. As a hottie.
  2. As a nottie.
  3. As a hottie and a nottie (Stop thinking about the Paris Hilton movie, screwballs edited by a screaming G, “no dirty words on my blog!”)

Ok, this is getting way too long. And boring. Really don’t want to get boring. She’ll never let me hear the last of it. Back to G. G is one of a kind. Amazing person. Very naive for letting me write what I want. Very classy for not deleting it (yet). Very smart for coming up with ways and means to screw with me without actually screwing with me. Very sweet for giving me an award. Very sporty for accepting my accepting the award (Link! Score!) Very cool.. for.. being a girl with a porn blog (Porn Search! Score!) Very literary for her ‘about me’. I’m guessing also very irritated for my random BS-ing in the name of a Valentine’s Day post.

To tell the truth, I really wanted to write a post about why I hate V-Day so much. However, its ground I’ve covered before.. and my ranting on someone else’s blog might get a little grating for her more regular readers. I wonder how many she’ll lose as a result of this post. That would not bode well for me at all. At all.

And on that note, I sign off. Until next time.. when I manage to get over the damage I’ve done with this post.

p.s. One question. Why does ‘ing’ show up as a spelling mistake on the WordPress spellcheck?

SEV

The Other 6

So, since the feline has been purring, meowing, snarling and is on the verge of scratching my eyes out I have decided to toe the line and do the 6 pix tag.

The folder is called 2008-01 (what, you thought I wouldn’t follow an organized naming convention for all my folders??) and the photo is this. This was taken on my last India trip and my cutie pie cousin was playing with my camera and ended up taking a photo of his tiny little feet. I miss him so. 😦

 

There. Done! And I tag..Pavi and Pinku. Take it up girls and do The Lady of Lorien proud. Muah!

By popular demand

Alright folks. Due to the ahem.. controversial nature of the previous post, we have decided to comply with the demands of our readership and do a follow-up to the ever-interesting topic of ‘galadriel porn’. So here is the awe-inspiring gtalk conversation with a dear friend who is a fan of all things.. porny (i know that’s not a word but it is now). And that includes the one thing connecting this blog to the Indian erotic phenomenon.. Sav Bhabhi!

For a bit of background I got a Swedish massage this weekend. And no, the masseuse wasn’t Swedish. And yes, she was hot. And yes, she was blonde. And she complimented me saying I had soft skin. No, Ravan, nothing else happened.

Anyway, onward.

Friend:me: how is savitabhabhi?

me: i didn’t get that message

Friend: i know

🙂

so..?

me: ermm

i have an idea for savitabhabhi

Friend: like?

me: i got inspired when i told my friend about my massage

savita bhabhi goes for a swedish massage

😀

and then shacks up with the masseur/masseuse

Friend: but manoj has already given her an awesome massage

me: oh no!

Friend: we’ll work on it

what about savitabhabhi seduces a PhD student?

😀

paid by an infosec guy from Mumbai who cannot get enough of her boobs?

😀

me: hahahahaha!!!!

Friend: and the PhD student’s girlfriend is outraged!

😀

but she forgives the student because it was savitabhabhi – the role model for today’s youth

me: HAHAHAHAHAHA

you should submit your story idea

Friend: you should post about this!

😀

the galadriel porn blog – happening, well within the realms of decency

There you are people. Writers at Savita Bhabhi, are you listening? You should pay us royalty if you do flick this idea.

I am Outraged

What can I say? Looks like SEV’s usage of certain.. ahem.. adjectives stands justified after all. Hmph.

P.S. For the uninitiated, these are my blog statistics and the key phrases people used to search which led them to my blog. The highlighted phrase ‘galadriel porn’ is one of them. Okay? Okay.

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