We have a love-hate relationship. He loves me. I hate him. But his love is so powerful and all-consuming, that I succumb to his advances. All the time.
- The most common way he expresses his love to most people. Make it rain when I don’t have an umbrella/jacket. But he has a special love for me right? So he will make it snow, just when I decide to wear my expensive wollen coat. All the while convincing weather.com to forecast sunny weather.
- The second I wear sunglasses, the sky goes overcast. Obviously, the converse has to be true. The second I remove my sunglasses, the sun shines down bright on the world again.
- If you ever see me standing in a queue for anything, please be sure to NOT stand in that queue. My friends will vouch for this, I’m the official queue-slow-down-er. If there are two queues, they would make me stand in one and go stand in the other, because that queue, by virtue of not having me, would move faster. Even if the person at the counter is a doddering old man with crippling arthritis.
- When I switch lanes so I can go faster, the lane I switch into automatically clogs up and comes to a standstill. Even if it’s the fast lane and cars in it were zipping by a second ago.
- Every single examination I have ever taken has seen me sick. And not just cough-cold sick, but fever, sinus, the whole nine yards. And no, it wasn’t stress-related. 😀
- Any tap I stick my hand under has to malfunction. So here I am, with soapy hands trying to get the damn tap to work and, of course the restroom has to be full so all the other taps are in use.
Of course, I can go on and on. But I don’t want to, lest he thinks I like being showered with his love and decides to crank it up!
What’s your relationship with him like?