I have opinions. Like it or not.

Questions Unanswered…

Why have I seen some pretty awesome relationships going awry over the last six months? I know they’ve all had perfectly valid reasons far falling apart; but why is it that people don’t consider all the effort and time invested into a relationship before they make decisions as drastic as splitting up?

Does being together for too long bring about a complacence? Do people stop working towards keeping the “fire” so to speak, going? Does familiarity really breed contempt? Or does it just breed a take-for-granted attitude? How can time change the essence of the way people feel about each other? How can two people be in love at one time and completely out of it at another? And be in love with a whole other person at the same time too? Are people’s feelings so fickle and transient that they cannot endure a short separation of time and distance? Or even resist the temptation of yielding to fleeting distractions?

Is that what happens in marriages? Are they any different from relationships in terms of level of commitment and amount of effort required to keep it all together? Are married people together only because society binds them? Given a choice, if divorce did not have the social stigma associated with it, would they willingly look at it as a way out and end everything in a flash?

How do you save a relationship that is based on such unstable foundations? Am I being too idealistic in believing that the right person for me will understand and work with me when I’m trying to win a losing battle? Will he just give up and be resigned to our fate (if we are married) or end it all (if we aren’t married)? Am I not the one to lose either way?

Should I just completely stop believing in the institution of marriage? And in human relationships altogether?

I grope in the dark for answers. I wonder if I will ever get them.

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Comments on: "Questions Unanswered…" (4)

  1. Before committing, one should be very clear bout his/her expectations from that relationship. And sticking to it till eternity is all the more essential… People seldom give a careful thought to this, resulting into split-up no sooner they come across better options.

    People spend time understanding their partner, but fail to understand their own selves…

    Marriage can’t protect relationships, trust & understanding can!

    Marriage is a game of compromise!

  2. every relationship is transient. it’s upto individuals to give each other the space to grow, to change. and adapt to the changes in each other & in the relationship. when we don’t, we term it drifting apart… when we do, we call it ‘bonding’.
    marriage is over-hyped in my opinion. it’s just a live-in r’ship which has societal approval. and of course, if u have kids, they have fewer issues later! it involves as much work, trust & understanding as much as a steady r’ship – if not more!

  3. @Prashant:I think eternity is a bit far-fetched, people change and so do relationships. But if the crux of one’s feelings stays the same, a lot of relationships can improve.
    @Rayshma:Completely agree about the marriage bit. Thanks for stopping by again! 🙂

  4. I agree with what Rayshma says… Trust and understanding are very important – be it marriage
    or a relationship. Faith in the other person is very important. Issues do exist, but as Rayshma says, it’s important to work these out.
    And friendship is very important – be it in a relationship of sorts or in marriage.

    Great blog! 🙂 Thank you for stopping by at mine 🙂

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